My Response to Critics Regarding My For Harriet Article about Mixed Race Identity

On Wednesday, For Harriet published my article "What it Means to be Mixed Race During the Fight for Black Lives." It quickly took off and has received over 23,000 Facebook shares/likes by the time of this blog post. I'm extremely humbled and honored to be sharing the experiences and viewpoints of so many mixed race people. Today I took the time to read what some of the critics had to say about my article. Here is a general response to the ones that seemed the most common.

"Why is she using police brutality as a platform to discuss being mixed race?"

Response: When I wrote the article, I knew that many of my black and mixed friends were very personally upset by everything we have been witnessing on what is sometimes a daily basis. I felt that if I addressed my feelings about police brutality and racial aggression without discussing my mixed identity, some would say that my feelings weren't valid because I'm not a "real black person." I wanted to be honest about my mixed race vantage point while also doing the cleansing work of writing down my thoughts and feelings about what is weighing us all down right now.

"She thinks she's better than us by saying she has good hair."

Response: I don't personally subscribe to the notion of "good hair," which is why I put it in quotation marks. I think that when we elevate people based on Western definitions of beauty, it harms the beauty that lies within the black community. That includes black people who see mixed race people as desirable because of their Western features, and white people who see mixed race people as desirable because of their black features.

"So she only wants to claim blackness when black people are brutalized?"

Response: I claim blackness on a daily basis. If someone identifies as mixed race, it doesn't negate them also identifying as black. As simple as it may sound, a person cannot be a mix of things without being those things. I perhaps simplified it for the article as a way to express my sense of alignment with the black community in the wake of police brutality; however, I am proud to be black every day. That was something that was instilled in me both by my black father and my white mother.

"You're not mixed, you're black." / "You're not black."

Response: These were the two most common types of criticisms that I saw in the comments, and it reinforces the notion that mixed race people have to make their own identifiers. Many think that those who claim a mixed race identity are turning their back on black people, but what they don't understand is that many black people don't want to claim us because we don't look like they do. Often comments about how we "should" define is only argued after we "do" define, no matter what that definition is. I see it not as understanding or of wanting to claim this mixed race person, but rather as stating that the person doesn't have the right to claim themselves.

"Why is this important?"

Response: There's really no great way to explain this to someone who isn't biracial. The bottom line is, it isn't important at all. The only reason it becomes such a deep seeded and heated topic is because other people think it so important. If mixed race people were accepted for who they are, there wouldn't be a need to assert our identities. And like I said above, it's not a matter of what we assert but that we assert in the first place, which seems to get so many people upset.

I opened blogger to upload my video but ended up writing these responses instead! I guess I had a lot to say! For more information regarding my article and my stance, check it out below. And thanks for listening!

~Shannon Luders-Manuel

10 Day Hair Challenge: Style #2

One thing I'm learning about my 10-Day Hair Challenge is that everyone's hair is different. Neither of my styles have looked exactly like the ones from the tutorial, but they still provide enough of a change of routine to make it worthwhile.

Today I did hairstyle #5. The vlogger's hair seems to be a little less curly than mine, so whenever I do her cool side styles, most of the actual style gets lost in a sea of hair.

Front view of side twists before I pinned them back.

Final look!

 As you can see, the actual details from the style aren't that visible. But the effects were more than I expected. Wearing my hair in a different style, even if noticeable only to me, gave me a feeling of purpose and of rediscovery. One thing I've learned so far from my move to LA is that while your interior will never change (both for good and bad, but I'm stressing the good), your exterior is something you can always reinvent and should present with purpose and bravery. It's a canvas on which to design the reflection you wish to present to the world. Some wear "Picasso," others wear "Kahlo," but those who seem the most put-together know that the body is a work of art and should be adorned accordingly.

I didn't expect that this 10-Day Challenge would result in soul-searching revelations. I merely wanted to stop being lazy and try something new. But, of course, that's when revelations usually occur.

Side note: Today is the day of the Ferguson verdict so I feel slightly shallow for posting on such an awful day. My heart is definitely with my brothers and sisters as we continue to demand that our voices be heard.

10 Day Hair Challenge: Style #1

A few days ago I spontaneously visited a friend in my building who had just put on flexi rods. She was a little embarrassed, but as a fellow "natural hair sister," I understand that our unflattering hair care regimen often leads to quite flattering results. Not to mention, her enthusiasm to try something new gave me a kick in the pants, as I've been donning the same two hairstyles for a coupe years now.

I checked out a YouTuber that the friend recommended, Mo Knows Hair, but decided that at least in regards to that particular video, the styles were a little too sophisticated for "little ol' me." But it did prompt me to further my search, and I came across this video of "10 Styles for Short Curly Hair." I'm guessing this vlogger is in high school, but her "cutesy" styles definitely fit my personality. I scanned through the video and decided to assign myself a 10-Day Challenge: I'll try each of her 10 hairstyles over a period of 10 days. Granted, I may not actually do them 10 days in a row, but I'm definitely committed to trying all of them. (Though two are my go-to styles, so those will be cheat days.)

Without further ado, here is Day #1 (Hair Style #4).

It's hard to tell, but this style has two side french braids that come together in the back. For some reason it's much easier to do a normal french braid than a side one, and the style looked good until my hair dried lost about 3 inches of length. But, a good style to keep toying with and to use maybe on Day 6 (the number of days between washes, where with each subsequent day the hair has more essential natural oils, i.e., is less frizzy).

Stay tuned for the next new do!

Mixed Remixed Festival

The Mixed Remixed Festival, formerly known as the Mixed Roots Literary and Film Festival, is holding their annual gathering at the Japanese American National Museum on June 14th, 2014. The festival is hosted by author Heidi Durrow, of The Girl Who Fell From the Sky.

I am listed among the featured writers for this year's event. Come see me present an excerpt from Hambone, an in-progress memoir about my life with my father.

Shannon Luders-Manuel

Shannon Luders-Manuel is a native of the Bay Area in central California and lived her first two years on San Francisco’s famously diverse Haight Street with her black father from Missouri and white mother from Marin County, California. She received her Master’s degree in English Literature from the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where she focused on identity formation and the role of the white suitor in the “tragic mulatta” narrative. Shannon was a founding member of the all-inclusive Meetup group “Sisters and White Misters” located in Alameda, California, and is proud of her multiracial extended family which includes spouses and partners with ethnicities from around the globe. Shannon’s previous literary works include a postcolonial analysis of the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping case in Vanderbilt University’s online academic journal, AmeriQuests. She is currently working on a memoir entitled Hambone about her relationship with her deceased father.

Diversity Consciousness: Opening Our Minds to People, Cultures, and Opportunities

There is truth to the adage, "Good things come to those who wait."

An article I got published on Teaching Tolerance magazine's website has shown up on many other diversity websites throughout the years, and has now made it into a textbook published by Pearson.

I look forward to purchasing this book in the very near future and seeing what other gems it holds.

~Shannon Luders-Manuel

What My Mother Has Taught Me

It's been almost a year since my second most recent post, "What My Father Taught Me." As a reintroduction to my blog, it seems appropriate to follow it up with a tribute to my mother, just a little shy of Mother's Day and the 2nd anniversary of her successful brain surgery.

1. Beauty is everywhere.

Many women, including myself, notice man-made, artificial objects of beauty. My mother, however, never seems to notice these things. Instead, she sees every individual flower, bird, and tree on any walk she ever takes. Taking walks with my mother can be painfully slow due to these sightings, but her mesmerization and wonder at the beauty of nature inspires me to look past the pretty buildings and pretty clothes and see the tiny little blue flower peeking up from the cracked sidewalk.

2. Disability doesn't determine capability.

My mom was born with a cleft lip and palate, and in the 50s, surgeries weren't as streamlined as they are today. As a result, my mother grew up with highly visible imperfections on her face, and children and adults alike assumed these imperfections affected her mental capabilities. In reality, my mother was the only one of her siblings to earn a Master's degree. She taught me not only to see people for their insides, but also to embrace their outsides just the way they are. I therefore naturally gravitated towards peers who were somehow different, because to me, they were just as normal as anyone else.

3. Don't be afraid to cry.

When my mother was sad, she cried, and from a young age I learned that this was a natural expression of one's emotions. She never once told me not to cry, and this freedom has allowed me to be sympathetic toward others when they're feeling down.

4. Books are a girl's best friend. 

My mom still gets lost in a good book, to the point where everything around her fades away. After having received my Master's in English literature, it's hard to enjoy the simple pleasure of reading purely for reading's sake, but I'm determined to recultivate this pasttime with the vigor that my mom has never lost.

5. There is nothing wrong with waiting in line.

My mom is an incredibly patient person. I have rarely seen her honk her horn out of frustration or get irritated by having to wait in line at a grocery store. She takes these inconveniences in stride, knowing that an extra thirty seconds is nothing to get worked up about.

6. The grass never greener on the other side.

My mother has never expressed a wish to have someone else's house, job, car, or, well, life. She exudes contentment with everything, as if existence itself is a gift that has been bestowed upon her and not to be taken for granted.

How to talk to your mixed race friend, family member, or stranger

With America becoming increasingly diverse, there is a growing need for education about proper etiquette when approaching the topic of race with a mixed race contact. I myself have many white friends and family members who struggle to find appropriate and politically correct terminology when discussing race with me. I know their fumbling comes out of a genuine desire to bridge the racial gap and assert their acceptance of me and other mixed race individuals. Below is a crash course in what -- and what not -- to say.

1. Don't ask: "What are you?"

Many mixed race individuals including myself will be offended by this question. While the question itself comes from a place of natural curiosity, the way it is worded implies that the person in question is somehow subhuman or defined entirely by his or her race.

Instead ask: "What is your ethnicity / ethnic makeup," etc.

Many mixed race individuals (also including myself) love this question when worded this way. Are we being nit-picky? Maybe. But unless you're a minority yourself, you represent the majority and we represent the "Other." In general we love to celebrate our otherness with those who are genuinely interested and who show that they view us positively through the way they ask.

Caveat: Some mixed race individuals don't like this question at all, so the guideline above only works on a case by case basis.

2. Don't say: "You're beautiful because you're exotic."

Again, such a statement may make us feel subhuman and more like an animal in a zoo. We don't want to be beautiful because of the way we differ from whites. Rather, we want to be beautiful of our own accord, and we believe a white person can be just as good looking as we are. In fact, if we are part white ourselves, saying we're beautiful because we're exotic means that half of our ethnic makeup is not beautiful.

Instead say: "You're beautiful."

Who doesn't like to be told they're beautiful? This statement is sure to flatter the receiver and you can steer clear of race talk completely.

Caveat: Some mixed race individuals do love to be noticed for their exoticism, so again, I can't speak for everyone.

3. Don't say: "I'm color-blind" or "I don't see color."

Mixed race individuals don't like this statement because we can't relate. We see color every single day, there is no way around it. We notice the one black student in the class, or the one Asian student at the party. We notice the races of all the characters in every TV show or movie, of every person in every commercial, and in every magazine ad. We don't notice these things because we are obsessed with race. Rather, because of growing up as an "Other," there is no way for us not to notice the races of those around us.

Rather say: Nothing. There's really no PC equivalent to this statement. Just avoid it!

Even "I love every color of the rainbow" or "I appreciate everyone's differences" can be taken as an insult. Why? Because like it or not, every single human being has prejudice inside them, even us. We should all fight against it, of course, but not being at all affected by race isn't possible.

4. Don't say: "African-American." 

Once upon a time, African-American was politically correct. Much in the same way that homosexual was the PC term over gay. However, just as gays have taken back their original definer, so have blacks. African-American is now passe, because it's an irrelevant definition. After all, we don't call whites European-American, and many of us have ethnic roots in America that go all the way back to the 1600s.

Instead say: "black."

Remember the Black is Beautiful movement of the 60s? Well it's back.

Caveat: The plural of "black" is most often "black people," not "blacks." And especially not "the blacks." Again, this may be a nit-picky criteria, but no one wants to pull a Donald Trump and say "I have a great relationship with the blacks." We're not one unit, we are all individuals.

Mixies: What rules of etiquette do you have to contribute? Are there any here that you disagree with?


--Shannon Luders-Manuel